Well I can't believe it, but the inevitable has already happened: I am no longer the cool parent. I have done such an excellent job encouraging Robi to like Sam, that I believe he already likes Dad better then Mom. Plus Sam really is cooler. I shouldn't have tried so hard;)

Robi had to get 3 vaccinations yesterday. It was awful. When he heard us talking about the doctor with George, he cried and told George "I can't stand the doctor." The nurses were sweet and got him all at once and gave him a lollipop, but I think all 5 floors of the building could hear him screaming.

One of the strangest things for us has been living in a country in which our son's race is very disliked (and sometimes hated). Of course there is terrible racism in the U.S. but it's not even politically incorrect here. It was as recent as my grandparents' lifetime that Robi's grandparent's generation were the victims of genocide, and were almost entirely destroyed by the Nazis. I think 90% of the gypsy's were murdered. Most European countries are distasteful of the gypsy population, but it is really bad here. It seems like Hungary was fertile ground for the gypsy genocide that happened... anyone who even looks "dark", gypsy or not, is a target for racism. I know that we are a strange bunch: 2 Americans and a "gypsy" boy who don't speak the same language as each other, and we might be being self-conscious, but everywhere we go we get blatant stares or sneers. Of course, the Hungarians we work with and know are wonderful and love Robi, but even they say it's good that we are taking Robi out of Hungary.

We are laying low today. Robi has a little fever from his shots and is sleeping a lot. Although at the moment he is playing wild animals with Dad.

We hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! We went to a church Thanksgiving party with some friends of friends and had a great time. There were a couple little boys (10-ish I think) who were very sweet to Robi and played and played with him. He loved it.
Miss you all!

Christmas Market

We just found the biggest Christmas Party in Budapest! I am feeling much better so Sam let me go outside for a little walk we and stumbled upon the Budapest Christmas Market. It is AWESOME! We want to go twice a day. We ate a yummy cinnamon-roll like treat... dough wrapped around a cylinder and baked crispy over hot coals. We had a hash brown with sour cream and mulled hot wine. There were tons of vendors selling everything from Christmas ornaments to bow and arrows to ceramics. We watched a blacksmith working and people were setting up for a concert. SO fun!
Today we are working on obedience. It is quite a job, as with all 3 year olds. But this poor guy has 3 years of bad habits. He pretty much did as he pleased at his foster home. We have had some screaming fits, but Robi has capitulated and obeyed in not more than 30 minutes so far. It gets old sitting in the same place over something as silly as not putting shoes away. I am actually very impressed with him... we've only known him one week and here we are imposing all these rules. Who do we think we are???
Things are going well with he and Sam. Today after a particularly bad confrontation over ramming his car into the door, he pouted at Sam for a few minutes but started wrestling, laughing and playing with him very soon.
Sam has not been able to study at all. Today during R's nap we were both so tired that we slept too. Hoping to phase into Dad leaving a few hours a day to study. First exam in ten days.

In Budapest

We are settling into our apartment in Budapest. It's a huge relief to be here. George hooked us up with a great deal at the Marriot apartments in the center of Budapest. We have a kitchen, living room, and bedroom.
Sam has been basically single-parenting the last two days. I've been pretty sick... nervous that it's the flu. Today has been the first day that I could rest well and I am hoping to be back up and going tomorrow.
Robi is doing pretty well. We think moving shook him up. He was very bad yesterday but today has been better. He seems to be venting all his frustration about life on Sam... he can be pretty mean to poor Sam! Sam has been patient and kind. i'm really proud of him. We expected this so it's not shocking but it's exhausting. George is not concerned; he keeps reminding us that everything, everything is new for Robi and it's scary. I can tell R gets very frustrated that we can't understand him. George is great, and encouraging and tells us constantly that it will be better each day. Poor little guy!
Sam and R are making playdough crocodiles... and I am going to lay back down.
We miss everyone! Thanks for your prayers.

Playing in the Bathtub

Robi and Apa (Dad) are playing in the bathtub. And I am typing as fast as I can!

We brought Robi home last night and everything went remarkably well. He did pick up the phone to call Dharma (his foster sister) but other than that we can't understand if he is talking about going home. We played cars some, but mostly Robi is really into wresting and scaring each other. Over and over. He loves it! Almost everything we hear adopted kids are scared of, Robi likes. He loves the elevator. Robi missed his nap yesterday so he was way past tired and completely irrational. He kept wanting to play even though he was losing it, so we decided to make him lay down and hold him at bed time. He screamed, I was nervous, Sam was fine, and he fell asleep within 10-15 minutes. I kept telling myself to pretend like he was a baby! He slept all night...

ok... I am sitting here listening to Robi say "more", "water", "pease" in the bathroom. I don't even know what to do. He is brilliant.

We went to the zoo today and we think it went well. He's never been and he was very scared of some of the animals. This was good though because when he felt threatened he ran right past me to Apa. More muscle power. And actually mom had more of a near panic attack than Robi over a near encounter wit snakes. His English now includes "monkey", "buffalo", and "shark".

It's hard to set up boundaries for him... he is not used to being told "no" and we are not able to reason with him like George is. He is very verbal and used to explanations. It's hard to know how to pick our battles. He is already playing the parents... trying to run to me when Dad tells him "no", but I am trying to back up Dad. "Nem. Go to Apa."

Well, I can't think. I m going to hear this 3 word sentence Robi has going on.

More later. Please pray for wisdom.

We adore this boy! We are so thankful for him!

Last day to leave Robi...

Just a brief little update today:
The meeting with the government went really well. Everything was smooth; we are being granted custody of Robi on Day 4 in the country rather than Day 7-9 of visitation. Marion recommended speeding things up because R is doing so well.
We only got to see Robi for about an hour. He came running into the car today and sat on my lap for a short car ride. We played in a very muddy park and had a good time. There was a fire man pole and R let Sam help him "climb" it since I sort of acted like I couldn't do it. He went up and down 10-15 times and was grunting and making faces like a crazy man in a gym:) He copies everything Sam does... so cute. When R gives Sam a high five, Sam blows on his hands "Ouch", and R started doing that today. He also said "Goodbye" clear as a bell to a truck today. We just stared at him.
When we pulled up to the house and everyone told him "Time to go" he said "Nem, nem" and wouldn't get up, and even started a little sad whine.  SAD to leave him. It's such an answer to prayer that he likes us... and I am ashamed that I am surprised.
Tomorrow we will go get him and won't have to leave him anymore.
As always, we are impressed with and so thankful for everyone involved over here. They are doing an excellent job. Sam and I are really enjoying getting to know people from Hungary on such an intimate level.
Love!

Play Day 2

Hello Friends and Family,
We had another good day, much like yesterday. We both woke up feeling pretty badly... Sam's ankle hurt and I felt sick... but God is so gracious and allowed us both to feel better and play all day. I think I jogged 17 miles today chasing Robi, who is faster than me, and carried him another several! Robi still will not let Sam carry him (and Sam can't really jog on his ankle) and we were all over the place today so I got quite a workout!
Today we were with George, Marian, and the driver again, but we added a new pal, Adam (who turns out to be the famous videographer of the Robi dvd). He is about Sam's age maybe and speaks good English. He was a lot of fun to have around because he would translate a lot of what Robi was saying to us, and was much firmer than Marian in helping to control Robi.
When we walked into the foster home today Robi was clinging to his foster mom and wouldn't look at us, but we didn't push him and very soon, he was playing with me from across the room. No tears when we left this time. Also Adam told us that Robi had been excited we were coming and watching at the window, but got shy when we got there. God is so Amazing!
We drove to the park and there were no nasty kids there today. We played soccer on the basketball court and re-discovered the universal common word "Goal!" We all got lots of goals. Even me.
Robi loves, loves, loves Thomas the train so we planned to go on a train ride. The timing didn't work out but we saw a train up close ("wow" is also a common word!) and got to get inside one for a minute. Robi loved it.
We hit up McDonald's again for lunch (not my choice people!) and this time Robi sat on Sam's lap for 5-10 minutes! It was very good. He plays with Sam and talks to him but does not want to be held or touched. Adam says he has a very close relationship with his foster dad and brushes off other men. But we are getting there.
We walked to a famous ancient castle from the Turk war; it was incredible and had an incredible view of the city, but I was mostly concerned with preventing Robi from jumping off the castle walls or rolling down into an ancient moat, which he was very determined to do. Sam, Robi and I wandered off by ourselves for the first time and were probably just the 3 of us for 20 minutes. We had no problems at all.
A very fun thing about having Adam with us was to see how incredible mush we are communicating with Robi, and he with us. He is very smart, and very verbal and I have felt like he is responding to specific things I say, but of course I don't know. So today I said "Look at those beautiful flowers" and he said something like "The flowers are very nice". Incredible. When Sam and I were wandering the castle with Robi, at one point he commanded us to sit down on a rock bench... it was so clear... and he did a little monologue and brought us some rocks to eat. So funny.
I wish I could put up pics and videos but we can't yet.Can't wait to show everyone our castle adventures later.
Robi fell asleep in the car again and slept the whole way home.
On the trip from Robi's house to the hotel we had an almost hour-long Hungarian lesson from Adam, who in the end, told us our Hungarian is "very bad."
We got home at a reasonable time today and Sam is getting to study some.
Tomorrow we go "to the government." It will be Robi's last night with his foster family. It blows my mind the way life is changing for all of us.
Thank you for praying for us. 

Play Day 1

What a wonderful day! We spent all day with Robi, then Sam and I had a lovely dinner together at the restaurant across the street, where we had fresh, delicious, underpriced food, and lovely wine for $1.75/ glass. I'm liking Hungry.
I've been chatting on Skype with both the moms and Sam is studying and icing his foot with frozen peas... he sprained his ankle playing with Robi today (he is refusing medical attention of course, but i won't stop bugging him about it, don't worry).
We slept so well last night! Ohmygoodness. Exhaustion.  Thanks to Matt and Camille for telling us to take melatonin... it's working like a charm so far.
This morning we met George for breakfast at our hotel. He said we would go on a "little trip" with Robi. "Just get in the car a little bit" he said. Our "little trip" was from 10:30 in the morning to 4:30 in the afternoon! Robi cried just for a minute getting in the car, which was sad, but when he realized his social worker Marion was coming, he dried up right away. He talks incessantly and jabbered away at us. I was sad to not be able to understand him. Yesterday we had a nice little van... today's was totally thug... black, tinted windows, no middle seat, Shakira and TI singing to us, but it turned out great, because Sam had to sit on the floor during the hour long car-ride to the park, and he bonded with Robi playing "soccer" in the back of the car. Homeboy may have a soccer career in his future! He appears to be ambidextrous, that little son of gun:)
We arrived at the nice, big park and Marion and George had us take Robi by ourselves for a minute. He did fine and let me carry him. He ran straight for a pile of leaves and dove in:) The only bad part of the day at all was a large group of high-school-ish aged kids who were wretched. The were laughing and snickering at Robi (I almost punched them in the face) then were trying out their profane and trashy English on me (and Sam very actually almost punched them in the face). I did have a moment's concern that Sam would get in a fist-fight defending my honor during his first few moments with Robi's social worker... but he let is go at dressing them down. Yikes!
Anyway, aside from the distracting little thugs, we had a lovely time playing with leaves, kicking a soccer ball, playing on the playground, eating a happy meal and nearly falling asleep while swinging. We were late for nap-time. Sam and Robi bonded more, although he is willing to let me hold him and carry him, but not Sam. But they play well together. Marion is wonderful: supportive, helpful, encouraging, not a word of English! It was an interesting day! Robi went to me, rather than to Marion, to hold him crossing the street once, which is huge. She is close to him and is actually more responsible for his well-being than even his foster mother. She is very happy with the way things are going. She told George the day was "perfect."
We are so thankful for:
1. Beautiful weather- it's usually cold and raining this time of year. Practically all our bonding happened in the park, so we are very thankful.
2. Robi's sweet, extraverted personality is making it very easy for us to attach to him. We adore him!
3. Sam's ankle held up all day (he hurt it first thing) and he and Robi were able to play.
4. All the adoption staff have been excellent and have been prepping Robi as much as is possible for this huge change in his life.
Prayer requests:
1. Sam's ankle... he can barely walk.
2. Foster family, especially mom, dad, and sister, having a really hard time. They are very sad.
3. We are mourning with and for the Bozemane's in their loss of sweet Trish to cancer. We are SO happy she is with the Lord, but death is really awful.

Thank you for all your love and concern and interest.
Love!

"Is this real life?"

I think Sam and I both feel like that poor kid on youtube after the dentist's appointment. After almost 30 hours of traveling and no real sleep, we both are unsure this is real life!
Yesterday- which- became- today was surreal... we drove to Atlanta, flew to Amsterdam, changed planes at what was 2:00 am Montgomery time, flew to Budapest, met George (our Hungary facilitator) and ended up driving around 5 or 6 hours with him. Wedged into all that driving with George was an important meeting with the "DHR" coordinator of this region of Hungary and two social workers (who kindly asked us what we had done to prepare to be parents and informed us that we are "very young"!). The meeting went well, and off we went... to Robi's house!!!!!
Sam was smiling and silly and I think my brain looked like old tv static. We didn't talk much. Every few minutes Sam would say "We are about to meet our son" or I would sing an impromptu, incoherent "We're meeting Robi" song. We kept winding through neighborhoods that weren't his on a trip of unknown length... at least to Sam and I. After about an hour we drove into a neighborhood that was his, got out of the car, and looked up to a tiny, hoody-framed face peering out the window. Our son! OH he is so precious. We walked into his house... a house in a country we have never even been too, but it felt so familiar after watching Robi's dvd every day for two months! 
Of course Sam and I were nervous and unsure, but the meeting went so well. We didn't stay long, and as we left Robi's social worker said it went "beautifully." Robi is a precious,crazy bundle of extraverted energy. He was shy for about 3 1/2 seconds before he was running back and forth to his room, usually with me running behind him, bringing out every toy known to man to show off. Sam and I had been instructed to bring little prizes for Robi. SO I had tootsie pops and a few toy cars and a slinky. However. Robi was more interested in his play laptop computer and cell phone to be interested. I am still laughing... he is downgrading in toys I'm afraid. 
His foster family was so kind. They are very sad, but were wonderful about telling Robi that Sam and I were his mom and dad, trying to get him to come to us and play with us, and in the end, made him kiss us goodbye. And he did! Robi kissed me! 
We are so impressed with the care being taken to prepare Robi for this transition. His social worker has come almost every day and looked at the scrapbook we made for Robi with him. He is, by the way, FAR more interested in the train stickers I put in the scrapbook, than in Sam and I;)  We are going to visit all day tomorrow, and take Robi on a little mini-trip with just the social worker, Sam and I. George has the "boss's" approval and encouragement for us to take Robi as soon as he is reasonably used to us... possibly even Friday. The foster family is emotional, and George, his boss, and Robi's social worker want us to go ahead and take him as soon as possible, without it being too tramatic for Robi. 
Right now it looks like we will spend the day with him tomorrow- Friday, bring him to stay the night in the hotel on Friday, and leave for Budapest on Monday. If all this happens we can probably be home for Christmas and George will be my new super-hero. 
We are so thankful for God's blessings. Please pray for us as we get to know our sweet, wild son!

Adoption Eve

We are leaving tomorrow! I can't believe it. I am so thankful for all the help we have had... the last two weeks, and especially this week, were so chaotic. I really did not think I could get done what needed to get done. I'm so thankful for my friends who threw a shower for RObi and helped provide so many wonderful gifts for him. My sweet mom and sister Kate have worked like slaves doing un-fun things like cleaning all the floors, addressing thank-you notes, and making copies for Sam to study on the plane.
Today I am making sure we have all the important documents we need, picking up the house, running a couple of last-minute, non-essential errands, and maybe even going to see my friend William's football game. Sam is making fun of me because I have been thinking about my "meeting-Robi" outfit... like a 3-year-old boy cares what sweater I am wearing:)
Thank you for all your notes, and kind words, and prayers!

Two Days Until We Leave...

It is hard to believe that we are leaving in two days to go meet and adopt our son. The shopping is done, the bags are almost packed... Sam and I vacillate between excitement, anxiety, terror, and all the way back again. We cannot wait to meet Robi! And we are so concerned for him. I have spent hours trying to imagine what this will be like for him... changing families, leaving his foster home with near-strangers, a new language, a new family culture, a new continent eventually... it's so much! We've been praying that the Lord would give Robi a supernatural peace and protect him from fear. 

My awesome friend Pam McLemore came over yesterday and got us excited! She brought us a list of places to go and see and was gushing enthusiasm for Budapest!

I'm too scatter-brained to write very coherently... more later:)